Why Titans Don't Have Penises
by yu-chii
Summary: Rivaille rewards Eren for cleaning up but then things go bad. Crack.


Rivaille was out all day due to a meeting with Irvin and when he gets home, it's surprisingly clean.

"Oh, Corporal, welcome back. Since I knew that you wouldn't be back until late at night, I decided to do some cleaning. I hope I did well." Eren smiles, gloved hands still scrubbing on the floors.

Rivaille staggers back for a bit, touched at Eren's gesture and then feels quite guilty about beating him earlier that day.

"Eren, come to my room for a bit." He says as he turns around and heads upstairs. Eren looks up, confused but follows after anyways.

"Just sit there on the bed and wait." Was the corporal's words as soon as he enters the room. He gets even more confused but again, he complies.

When he sits on the bed, he slowly realizes how tired he was and then suddenly, he's lying on the bed, going in and out of sleep.

Minutes later, he wakes up to hands roaming on his chest and a weight on his groin. The shock pulls him out of the water and he tries to sit up, only to find out that he's been tied to the bed.

There's something hot and wet tracing circles on his torso and he narrows his eyes, trying to adjust his vision in the darkness.

"C-Corporal?" He asks shakily. There's a sharp pain on his hip and he realizes that he's been bit.

"Who else do you think it is? Unless you've been sleeping around behind my back, you sick little fucker." And he bites down on Eren again, hard enough to draw blood and he laps it up before Eren's titan healing powers begin to evaporate it.

"N-No! I haven't been doing- It's only you Corporal, I love you so-" A hand covers his mouth and he then sees his superior looming over him.

"Cut the sap, Eren. We don't have time for that." The hand was then replaced by the corporal's lips and he automatically opens his mouth to let him in.

Rivaille lets his tongue roam, sliding through every cranny and sucking on the younger boy's tongue. Eren just lets him do as he pleases, arms curling around the corporal's neck and drawing him closer.

Biting Eren's lips one last time, Rivaille pulls away and goes back to sitting on the boy's groin. "You did really well today Eren. Some sort of positive reinforcement is in order."

Before he could react, his pants were already being unbuttoned and zipped open, his underwear was being pulled down and his manhood was finally freed from its confines.

"C-Corporal!?" He stutters as Rivaille starts stroking him.

"Just shut up and let me do it." And Eren does, mewling softly as the pleasure spreads through his body.

When he was about to come, the corporal let go of him and started to remove his pants. Eren then anticipated for the thick cock that was going to push inside him but it never came, instead, he felt something pressing on his dick and suddenly, there was this delicious heat and tightness engulfing him and he came immediately.

"Oi, what's this Eren, you came that quickly? Tch, you really are still just a brat." He couldn't see well but he knew that Rivaille was glaring down at him. "But I guess there's a good side to that, kids have good vitality, don't they? Let's see how many times I can make you cum."

"Eh, Ehh?! C-Corporal, please wait! We can't- tomorrow's assignment-!" Rivaille rocks his hips a bit and Eren moans loudly causing him to move a bit more just so that he can hear those noises.

"I guess you're right, for once. I'll just make you cum thrice and then we're done." He smirks, slowly lifting himself up but- "Oi Eren, what are you doing?"

"Huh? I'm not doing anything?"

"Then why the fuck am I stuck?" He tries to push himself, he's slowly moving but then something causes him to stop and then he's back down again, Eren moaning beneath him.

"I-I don't know. I'm not-ah, p-please stop moving!"

"Would you rather have me stuck to you then? Wait, don't answer that. I know you would."

Eren makes a lopsided grin but then Rivaille tries to get off of him and he's turned into a moaning mess again.

"Shit, I am never doing this again." The elder man starts using his legs, kicking against Eren's torso to pull himself off but to no effect.

As things start to get grim, Rivaille gets a brilliant idea. Smiling sadistically, he pulls Eren and himself on the floor and reaching under the bed for something.

"Hey Eren, I just got an idea," Eren begins to sweat nervously. "Why don't we just cut that filthy dick of yours off? It would probably grow back and even if it doesn't you won't be needing it anyways." And he pulls a sword out, pointing it dangerously close to Eren's groin area.

Eren screams and second later, Hanji barges into the room. "What's wrong? What's happening?" She flicks the light on and stares at the sight before her.

Rivaille on top of Eren, holding a sword and pointing it near his ass. Eren was leaning against the bed, sweating bullets and looking mightily scared.

"What-"

"Get out!"

"Hanji-san, help!"

"What's wro-"

"I said get out, damnit!"

"Rivaille-san's stuck!"

Silence.

Then Hanji bursts out into laughter.

A murderous aura emanates from Rivaille, closing his hands over Eren's neck and squeezing it, "When this is all over, I'm still cutting your dick off."

And ever since that day, Eren never topped, nor had a dick again.


End file.
